When Sasuke Left
by XmidnightXcloudX
Summary: OKAY! A completely random crazy whatever that basically has what happened while Sasuke left "Naruto" It's extremely weird and will make you probably die laughing.
1. Something's Missing

Like… I apologize in advanced if I offend anybody, I really don't mean to. This is the work of A LOT sugar and typing at midnight on my laptop. So yea… There are a lot of grammar mistakes but they are on purpose to make things funny. Yea… So uh… what now? I guess this DO NOT OWN ANY NARUTO ANYTHING because like Masashi Kishimoto owns it alls… he did create the thing! Hello! Anyway… I hope you enjoy this retarded thing…

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What happened when Sasuke left the show for a while…

**Chapter 1 Something's Missing**

The village of Konoha was in dire need of something. Just what they were missing they couldn't figure out.

Ever since Sasuke left the show, they felt incomplete. What had he taken away?

Naruto sighed as he sat in the Ichiraku Ramen shop playing with his food. He twirled the noodles around with his chopsticks. Things just weren't the same.

"What's wrong kid? You seem depressed. You haven't eaten any of your ramen. Isn't it your favorite? Barbecued pork with egg noodles?" The old man who ran the shop, Teuchi said as he dried a glass.

Naruto sighed again. "Things have changed old man… With Sasuke gone I just don't have the same hunger I used to."

"For food or for…?" The old man started.

"FOOD OLD MAN!" He sighed again and pushed his bowl forward. "I'm not hungry."

He reached in his pocket for his money pouch in the shape of a green frog.

"Why don't you use your frequent buyer card? You have a free bowl don't you?"

"Oh right! I forgot!" He reached behind his headband and pulled out a small card with stamps all over it.

"And here's your new card." He handed Naruto a small card and he left.

Xx--xX

Naruto walked to the bridge where they once met as a group to wait for Kakashi Sensei.

Naruto leaned on the rail and looked down at his reflection. He had a vision of Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi standing around him.

"I miss those days." Naruto said in a sad voice. A leaf fell into the water and the vision disappeared.

"I miss then too." A sad Sakura said standing a few meters away from Naruto.

"Oh… Sakura…" He turned around to face her. She walked up to the railing and looked down the river.

"We were so happy and carefree. I never thought something like this would happen."

"Me neither."

"I just wish I could have seen it coming. I mean… I know he was emo… but death of your entire clan, having a retard of a brother, and hair that makes everyone fangirl and fanboy go crazy for can do that to a man."

Naruto stared at her. He then thought. _"That last sentence… was creepy… but true."_

"Oh Naruto! I don't know how I'll go on!" She said in an overdramatic/is-so-acting/faking voice. "He was my one true love! I will die without him!!"

"Umm… Sakura?" He stared blankly at the now kneeling on the ground with one hand to her heart and one hand raised to sky, seriously acting faced Sakura.

She stayed in that position even when a bird landed on her hand.

"Okay Sakura… you're freaking me out!!" He shook her sending the bird onto the bridge. It then just suddenly died, but two seconds later flew off.

"What was that for?!" She yelled standing up and getting all up in Naruto's grill.

"A BIRD LANDED ON YOU SAKURA! I think you're going insane!" He yelled and then put his hands over his head to protect him.

But surprisingly… she did nothing but stand there.

"Hey Sakura…" Naruto said to free her of her daze three minutes later. "Have you noticed that the village seems to be missing something?"

"As a matter of fact… yes. And it has something to do with Sasuke being gone. And I think I know what it is!! SEE YA LATA NARUTO!!" And she half skipped away until she tripped over a toad and like totally broke her face. But in no time at all, she got up and limped away.

All the while, Naruto just stood there staring in her direction. But ten minutes after Sakura got up and limped away, Naruto said to himself. "Damn crazy biznatch gonna kill herself!!"

Xx--xX

**THE VERY NEXT DAY!**

Naruto was all walking-like-a-p.i.m.p when some crazy ass Goth chick ran front of him and messed him all up!

"NARUTO!" The crazy ass Goth chick yelled.

"Hmm… that voice sounds creepily familiar…" He did his odd squinty thingy. Then he like LE GASP!ed when he realized who it was. "SAKURA-CHAN?!"

(A/N: Yes like ONE THOUSAND exclamation points! I put a lot if they don't show up. Which I don't think they will…)

"YES NARUTO!! It's me! Sakura! And I realized what was missing! THE VILLAGE EMO KID!!"

"Uh… Sakura…" Naruto said blinking. "You can't be the Village Emo Kid."

"WHY NOT?!"

"You're… too… pink." He pointed to her still pink hair, eyebrows and random pink dots on her clothes. "Besides… A girl can't be the Village Emo Kid!!"

"WHAAT?! How sexist!"

"I dunno what the frick that means but ya just can't be emo, Sakura."

"Aaawww!! How come?!"

"Didn't you just hear me or are you deaf from that spill you took yesterday tripping over Gamikichi?"

"What? You mean that little frog thing?"

"Yea… That's Gamabunta's son. You know… that GIANT toad. The big red one with the "dagger" and the scar."

"Oooohhhhhhhhhhhh shiznat!" She ran in the opposite direction.

"Uh…" Naruto blinked. "Where are you going Sakura??"

"INTO HIDING! I KILLED THAT CREEPY THING!!"

"Biznatch screwed…"

What did happen when Sasuke left the show for a while?

PEOPLE FREAKED!!

Chapter one end!


	2. Sasuke Cameo

What happened when Sasuke left the show for a while…

Like… I apologize in advanced (AGAIN) if I offend anybody, I really don't mean to. This is (AGAIN) the work of A LOT sugar and typing at midnight on my laptop. So yea… There are a lot of grammar mistakes but they are on purpose to make things funny. DO NOT OWN ANY NARUTO ANYTHING! AGAIN… I hope you enjoy this retarded fanfic.

OH YEA! Sorry to Winnie the Pooh and all French maids! No actual yaoi contained in this fanfic! I kind of REALLY hate yaoi… so if you like it… Yay for you… so does my best friend. (shivers)

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What happened when Sasuke left the show for a while…

**Chapter 2 SASUKE CAMEO??**

"Like oh my gaaaaasssshhhhh!! I am like sooo bored without Sasuke here to staaallllkkkk!!" The hopeless Ino said to herself as she sat with her group who stared at her.

Even Choji stopped eating his chips for like half a second as she said that. Shikamaru couldn't give a crap to save his life.

"LIKE, what's gotten into you two today!?" She said all preppy. The two could swear she like changed forms for a millisecond.

The two boys did the smart thing and ran for it.

"Pssh, whatever!!" And the totally clueless Ino went back to eating Sasuke's favorite food, Okaka flavored rice balls. She HATED the flavor but, it is Sasuke's _favorite,_ so she forced herself to eat them.

Xx--xX

**MEANWHILE…!**

"SAKURA, SAKURA, SAKURA, SAKURA, SAKURA, SAKURAAAAA!!" Naruto yelled as he ran to the normally pink, no longer Goth, Sakura.

"WHAT?!" She asked ticked off.

"SAKURA! I FOUND THE BEST THING SLICED BREAD, ANIME, AND THE INTERNET!!" He yelled as he jumped up and down fast than a hummingbird's wings and more than Tigger from Winnie the Pooh.

"WHAT?! DID YOU FIND SASUKE??" She asked excited. And then thought a dirty thought. _"Sasuke yaoi?"_

"Uh… no… I didn't find Sasuke… Sorry… BUT I FOUND THIS!!" He held up something that puzzled and quite frankly, freaked Sakura out. She could not believe it!

"Uh… Naruto… what the hell is that?!"

He did his big goofy smile that showed all of his teeth. He held up a picture of Sasuke.

Not just any picture of Sasuke. A picture of… well… SASUKE! Get the point?

A passerby saw the picture, starting hyperventilating, and dropped dead. Strangely, it was a man. Not just any man, the old man that ran the Ichiraku ramen shop, Teuchi.

The old man's daughter, Ayame, squealed in delight and a group of men gathered around her. She took that well…

"NARUTO!! HOW DARE YOU DEFY HIM?!" She yelled. "Now…gimme dat."

She like SNATCH-ED the picture of Sasuke out Naruto's hands and ran away with the "picture" of Sasuke.

"Freaking fangirl." He stood there as he watched her get away with the picture of Sasuke in a skimpy French maid outfit standing in the sexy jutsu pose with a feather duster. "Daaammmnnnn was that FREE-KAY!"

He ran away to meet with Jiraiya so he'd have a reason to clear his mind of the horrid images of Sasuke in that picture.

Was he going to help Jiraiya with his "research?" Maybe… he wouldn't tell.

Xx--xX

**ALL THE WHILE…!**

"I already hate here." The little, emo, avenger said to himself to make a cameo appearance in a fanfic that was all about him not being there. "I don't want to go "home" to those fricktards though. Whatever… Hey wait…" He looked around and in his backpack that suddenly appeared with him again. "WHERE'S THAT PICTURE OF ME IN THAT… that… outfit… DAMN IT! I LEFT IT AT HOME!"

Sasuke equals screwed.

Xx--xX

**BACK IN KONOHA… TWENTY MINUTES LATER…!**

Naruto whistled as he waked aimlessly throughout the village after his meeting Jiraiya. No offence but… heh… Naruto CANNOT whistle.

"I wonder what Sasuke's doing right now…" Naruto said to himself.

**CAMERA SHIFTS TO SASUKE…!**

Sasuke sneezes as he sits on a chair staring at the ceiling counting the tiles. It was strange for a hole in the ground to have to ceiling tiles, but hey, he wasn't asking questions. Well… anymore…

"Four hundred and ninety-two ceiling tiles?! How the hell is that possible?? HEY! Is someone talking about me?!" He yelled to himself. "I guess I have to start counting again…" He sighed. "1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 942… 7…"

**BACK IN KONOHA…!**

"I hope he's like killing people or something like that and not just like counting ceiling tiles or something stupid of the sort… I'll like… kill him if he is!! He'd be wasting all of is time with Orochimaru!! He'd better be doing something maniacal! Or else! Because if I find out… he is in some real trouble! He already is… but… whatever…" Naruto said all angst filled to his self and kept walking along.

LE GASP! He's starting to sound like Sasuke! Is Naruto going to be the new Village Emo Kid?

"NO! I DON'T WANNA BE THE VILLAGE EMO KID!" Naruto yelled as he heard the narrator of this fanfic speaking. Or it could have been the voices in his head again. "I GOTTA FIND A NEW VILLAGE EMO KID! AND QUICK!!"

He ran off to nowhere. He was going the direct opposite of the village. In fact… he was actually running in the direction of Sasuke and Orochimaru, but of course he didn't know that. And he turned around once he realized that he was in the middle of the Sound Village and getting attacked by Sound Ninja. And all that time, Sasuke and Orochimaru was only an hour and a half past the village! Darn!

Well… things be strange up in here. You never what's going to happen next.

Gaara like pops out of nowhere and shouts: "ME WANT COOKIES!!" And he quickly runs away.

(A/N: Dude that was freaking sweet. Heh… Heh… Cookies. Sweet. Heh… Gaara's awesome!)

Chapter 2 end!


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